


Memories in blood

by KlixAndSpaesis



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bullying, Christmas, Cute Dorks, Death, F/M, Fear, Gangstuck, Memories, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Swearing, Teen Angst, blood obsession, kids being kids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 09:37:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3062975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KlixAndSpaesis/pseuds/KlixAndSpaesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never thought he'd loathe the very name he'd been given when he was young. But now, he hated it, hated his father, hated his brother, and his mother was the only one keeping him on the side of sanity, but when she's gone, what's there to stop him from getting led over the edge into a world he'd thought till then was madness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello there.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! >; ]
> 
> Brace yourselves, you're going to be in this for the long haul.

Karkat stared off into space, his gaze boring a hole into one of the bottles of wine in the background as his thoughts wandered off. In the corner of his eyes he could see Gamzee milling about, cleaning tables and cups, waiting for customers to come in the shop. It was early morning with just specks of golden sunlight pouring through the windows, decorating the wooden floor with shadows of the leaves standing to attention to the breaking dawn. The light gently glinted off the small glass cup of some orange concoction that Gamzee had created sat half empty in front of Karkat, while he gazed off, a small smile forming on his lips as he remembered something from the past. _“You don’t have to be who you were named to be. Live for whom you are and where you heart leads you, my beautiful, baby boy.”_ He slowly looked around the empty shop, soon to be filled with happy, chatting people. He looked as Gamzee’s lanky figure drifted from table to table, rag hanging from one hand while the other was buried in his hair, mussing up the long curly locks of hair already sticking up from a bad case of bed-head as he yawned. For a moment, Karkat saw him for what he was before, gaunt, hollow eyes, angry and murderous, skin stretched over bone, hidden under baggy torn clothes, and then it was gone, replaced with who he was now, happy, relaxed, wearing neat clothes under a black apron. Gamzee turned, somehow noticing Karkat’s gaze on him and he flashed a smile, all sharp teeth, the only reminder of his past. “Karkat,” he started as he walked over, a small smile on his lips, “What’s got a brother all up and smiling for?” Karkat grinned, and downed the rest of the drink, “It’s nothing.”

= = > Back to the past.

He hated his name. He hated it. Karkat Vantas. He’d asked his parents when he was very young what his name meant. Everyone knew that their name had meant something. It was something that was tied to their destiny. It meant that they _meant_ something to the world. That they weren’t someone who was without meaning. They had the name for a purpose, their fate. His parent’s told him that his name was from a Sanskrit language that meant Cancer, due to his birth being under the astrological stars of Cancer. Intrigued, he questioned further, what did their last name mean? It was apparently the name of a prostrate treatment drug. He didn’t know what it meant, but he was happy that his name meant that he could save someone. Oh how wrong he was.

Karkat trudged up the apartment stairs, his satchel bag slung over his shoulder, hands shoved in pockets. His turtleneck sweater was pushed up around his neck to shield it from the cold, beginning of December winds. He huddled deeper into his sweater and gave an involuntary shudder as the wind gently caressed his already flushed cheek, and he buried himself deeper into his jacket. He stopped in front of the door and wrenched the keys from his pocket, reminding himself harshly that he was only coming home for his mother. No one else. Not Kankri, not Crabdad. Just Mom. He opened the door slowly, peeking in to check the shoes at the front, and nearly groaned in disgust. Crabdad’s shoes were left at the front next to two sneakers that he knew weren’t his own. “Karkat? Is that you at the door?” his brother’s gentle clipped tones echoed down the small hallway accompanied with the soft padded thumps of feet. Kankri peeked around the corner, signature red turtleneck wrapped around his shoulders. “Don’t just stand there; you’re going to catch your death of a cold out there.” Karkat tried not to groan as he was subjected to his fate and he stepped inside and closed off the cold air from outside. He kicked off his sneakers and pushed past his elder brother, despite the other’s protests, and he made it a point to slam the door as he walked inside his room, cutting off his brother’s beginning of a ‘short’ lecture. That guy could go on for hours. He threw his bag to the floor next to the shelf holding book after book on medical history, knowledge and shit. He hated it. He flopped on his bed, a mess of white covers and blankets thrown and hastily folded in the corner, pillows scattered across the bed spread in shapeless lumps. His desk stood in the corner of the room, memo’s and papers milled around the wall of the area, even more papers on the desk with scribbled notes and doodles, crumpled and scattered around a waste paper bin. His laptop was currently closed, on his desk with the power cord attached. He had a window, a couple of feet away from his bed, facing the fire escape and the grey town. He hated this town. He hated his brother. He hated his dad. He hated his stupid so-called friends. He hated the teachers. He hated school. He hated everyone and everything about the shitty city. Everyone and everything, except his mom. His mom was worlds away from this place, worlds better. She wasn’t too pushy or too nice, she didn’t compare him to anyone else, and she didn’t reprimand him for something he didn’t do right. She was better than everyone. He glanced at his bag thrown on the floor and the haphazard condition of his desk. He sighed and started cleaning up.

He was awoken by a small pinging noise on his phone and he groaned and opened it, squinting against the glare of the screen in his dark room. It was his brother.

_C9me **9ut 9f y9ur r99m and st9p sulking f9r apparently n9 g99d reas9n, we’re having dinner**._

He growled and blindly punched in the words, **_WHY CAN’T YOU JUST COME AND KNOCK ON THE DOOR YOU LAZY ASSWIPE_** _._

The text came back almost immediately and Karkat groaned again and squinted at the angry, bright red text on the screen.

**_It’s 6ecause I d9n’t want t9 get int9 an argument with y9u Karkat, the last time we did the neigh69urs c9mplained. S9 c9me 9ut and eat._ **

He swung his legs over the bed and walked over to the door, scratching his head and typing in, **_FINE, I’M COMING OUT, JUST DON’T TEXT ME AGAIN ASSHOLE, YOUR WORDS ARE A HELL TO READ._**

He opened his door and cringed at the sharp glare of lights on in the living room and he found his way to the table. He saw his dad first and he hid his grimace of disgust at the man by looking away, spotting his brother next, who raised his hand slightly in greeting, already changed out of his turtleneck into a simple T-shirt. This was going to be a horrible night. He trudged towards the table and sat down glumly, glaring at his plate and spoon and wondering if he could just use the spoon to dig out his skull and end the insufferable silence as he felt his father’s critical gaze examine him. It was never loving, never kind, never adoring. It was always critical, examining, as cold as the gaze of someone observing an experiment. “Karkat,” his father said, “Your shirt’s not tucked in.” Karkat rolled his eyes and ignored him. “Don’t you realize how uncivilized you look?”

“Shut up Crabdad,” Karkat snorted, purposefully turning away and facing the wall and propping his head up on his shoulders, “There are people out there who look like me. Compare me to them and I’m the gold of the stock.”

“Karkat!” Kankri cut in, looking offended, “Language!”

“Dinner’s ready!” his mother cut in before his father could open his mouth and she set the steaming bowl of stew on the table with a smile, “Its beef stew, your favorite.” She gave Karkat a small wink before seating herself next to her husband. Karkat hid the little blush on his face by turning sharply away and scooping a pile of potatoes on his plate. His mother was beautiful and kind, long hair tied in a loose ponytail. Slim and slender, long eyelashes and the most beautiful grey eyes, it was as if looking into the sky, vast but full of life, not intimidating but deathly kind. Smile lines at the corners of her eyes and a small stray strand of black hair that crossed her forehead. The table became silent as she arrived and everyone dutifully took their stew and potatoes, the silence only slightly broken by the sounds of kitchenware clicking together. His father finished first, thanking her for the meal and dropping his dishes off in the sink before he returned to their room to continue his work. Kankri finished second, thanked her for the food and walked over to the sink, washing his dish and their father’s. As he walked out the kitchen, he gave her a small hug and walked to his room, presumably to continue his work as well. Only Karkat and she were left at the table, even though they had both finished. “What’s wrong Karkat?” she asked as she got up, taking his plate alongside of hers and prepared to take them to the sink. But before she could take his plate, he grabbed her wrist to stop her, “I can take my own plate.” She snorted but smiled, straightening to leave, but his hand remained on her wrist. He stood and knocked the hair from her forehead, holding her gaze for just a moment before releasing her wrist and washing his dish. “You don’t have to be so angry at everyone else you know, Karkat,” she started as she waited behind him while he roughly cleaned his plate with a scrub and soap. “Fuck everyone else,” he growled as he turned around, realizing with a shock that he had to look down to see her face, he placed a small kiss on her forehead, “You’re a fucking goddess, and you don’t need to deal with their shit.” She smiled and gently papped his face, “You’re too kind Karkat.” She gave him a small kiss on his cheek and shooed him out of the kitchen. He knew. Unlike Kankri, who had the drive for success from their father and the motherliness from their mother, Karkat had his father’s rage and his mother’s kindness, two contrasting personalities. He walked back to his room and shut the door, locking it behind him, he needed it. He knew that somewhere out in the house, his mom was probably sitting alone in the living room reading a book or watching television. She hardly went out anymore. She never said anything about it though, just smiled when he got home, told him about what she did, and trying to make it sound as interesting as possible. For example seeing the cat from across the building doing parkour, about how much the small vine on the roof grew. Anything that was even mildly interesting. Karkat looked at the book that was currently in his hand, talking about some scientist from gog knows where on the fucking planet and how the particular nameless scientist had created some sort of drug that could cure some disease that probably didn’t even exist. He looked at it for a second longer then chucked it to the floor in disgust and walked back out of his room.

He threw himself on the couch next to her and watched a cooking advertisement with her in silence. She didn’t say anything when he walked out and sat next to her, the only indication she gave of acknowledging his presence was a small personal smile to herself and the slight flicker of her eyes in his general direction. The TV droned on. He didn’t know when he fell asleep, because when he awoke, the room was dark and there was a blanket over his shoulders. He yawned and stretched, there was a satisfying crack as he bunched up his shoulders, what time was it? A quick check on the digital clock hanging above the television showed that it was early in the morning, at least seven am. He ran a hand through his hair and yawned again, then trudged to the kitchen to make himself coffee, it was a Saturday morning, he didn’t have any school, much less anything planned, and so coffee it was. He grabbed mug from the top shelf, went to the sink, turned on the tap, and filled the cup with water. Then he put it in the microwave and set the timer to one minute. The microwave started, a low buzzing hum as the yellow light turned on and the mug began to slowly rotate. He stood transfixed for a moment at the way the light caught the reflective surface of the mug, but then he turned and walked towards the bathroom, past his parent’s bedroom, and walked into the bathroom. He washed up and brushed his teeth, then after some careful consideration, ran a comb through his hair. After that he walked back to the kitchen when the microwave’s timer went off, like a bell, rousing his brother from his room. Kankri threw open his door and yawned loudly. Honestly, everything Kankri did related to his mouth was loud. “Morning Karkat.” He started as he scratched his head sleepily, then he frowned and squinted at the clock across the room, “What time is it?”

“Seven o’clock.” Karkat answered bluntly and wrenched open the microwave, it needed some work but he got it open.

“Whaaaat?” Kankri whined as his shoulders slumped, then he turned back around and closed the door, “It’s not time to wake up yet…” Karkat listened to the sound of his brother throwing himself back on the bed with an audible thump. He silently thanked the gods that his brother wasn’t a morning person, almost everyone in his family was, that is except for… the soft click of the door alerted him first and he turned slowly, already a scowl forming on his face. Everyone in his family except for Crabdad. “Good morning Karkat.” His dad said as he exited his bedroom, grey pajama’s still on. Everything his father wore was grey, or turned grey. Grey clothes, grey hair, grey eyes, grey, pale skin. Karkat used to complain to his mother that he’d turn to an old man early just by standing next to his father. She had just quietly chuckled, but said nothing more. “Are you making coffee?”

“Yeah, what do you think I’m making? Orange juice?”

“Well, you can put down the cup then, we’re going out.”

“What? Why?”

“For coffee. I want to talk to you.” With that said his dad turned around and headed towards the bathrooms, leaving Karkat just standing in the kitchen, holding the mug in his hand and an expression of dread on his face. This wasn’t good.

Five minutes later his father was out of the bathroom and wearing grey suit. Karkat was just wearing a black long sleeved shirt with the grey lettering, ‘FUCK THE HOLIDAYS’ and dark grey pants. His dad grimaced when he saw Karkat’s choice selection and said, “Change your shirt please.” Karkat sighed and went to change his shirt. He changed his shirt to another black shirt, though it had no wording of any sort, and he topped it off with a red jacket. They walked down the steps in silence and they got in the car. Ten minutes later they were walking to a small café and sitting down. By now, the sun was already rising, the morning would have been beautiful, bright light and cloudless skies, but it wasn’t when his father’s face completed the picture. His father ordered two coffees, one black and the other- Karkat cut him off and ordered it on his own. His father said nothing. “I didn’t know you like sugar in your coffee, an extensive amount of sugar to be exact.”

“Like you know anything about me,” Karkat growled back and his father was quiet. The coffee came with a small jar of sugar for Karkat. Karkat downed his the moment it came, after shoveling more than three teaspoons of sugar into it. “So, you wanted to talk to me. We could have had a beautiful cup of coffee back at home, and here you are, dragging me out in the stupid weather to see your ugly face.” Crabdad laced his fingers together and rested his chin on them, “Yes, in fact, I do.” Completely ignoring the spiel of complaint Karkat had launched. There was a silence as Karkat waited for him to speak as Crabdad took a sip of his coffee. “I saw your test results. For science.”

Karkat snorted and turned away. “Are you proud of me?”

“…you could’ve done better. I also saw that other girl’s, Jade, was it? She got higher than you didn’t she?”

“Should I care?”

“You should care. You’re going to be a doctor when you grow up.”

“What if I don’t want to be a doctor?” Karkat shot back, glaring at his father from the other side of the table with sharp grey eyes.

“Karkat, please.” The way he said please was without any begging, it was a statement of ridicule. “You will be a doctor, whether you want to or not.”

“Oh wow, I don’t have a choice anymore don’t I?” Karkat exclaimed, widening his eyes in mock alarm, before just as quickly reverting to a scowl, “I don’t want to be a doctor.”

“Then what do you want to be? What do you think you’re going to be with how you’re acting right now? Like a stubborn child.”

“I haven’t even fucking decided yet! I’m eighteen! What do you expect me to be?- Oh, wait, fuck that was redundant.”

“You are going to be a doctor,” his father continued, “Even your name shows that you should be a doctor. You were named after a cancer cure-“

“-A prostate cancer drug-”

“-and you should aim to be what your name says you should be.”

“You know what I say? Fuck you, fuck the world, fuck being a doctor. You’re just forcing me to be something you never lived up to become.”

His father tensed up and visibly stiffened. “Karkat-“

“Shut up, I’m tired of all your shit. Ever since you started going on about all this stupid doctor shit, I’ve never been given a choice anymore, I’ve never had a fucking choice in my entire fucking life. I’m not being me anymore. Just because it’s a name, doesn’t mean you have to force to be what the name means. That’s just so fucked up and wrong.” He then turned away from his father and angrily stared at the cars passing by. There was stony silence from across the table and Karkat purposefully ignored the glare from his father. He vaguely heard someone take a seat behind him and order something. The buildings across the road looked so interesting with the light reflecting off the windows and a bird passing by chirped loudly. Then he heard something that turned up the edges of his lips. It was the sound of music, a particular song that fit the scenario perfectly. _’keep drinking coffee, stare me down from across the table, while I look outside…’_ he risked a glance to the seat behind him, seeing out of the corner of his eye a girl with red hair, smiling to herself as she played the music loudly on her phone, humming slightly to it. ‘ _so many things I’d say if only I were able but I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by,’_ Karkat broke into a grin and laughed slightly, the girl turned towards him, a knowing smile on her face, ‘ _you’ve got opinions man, we’re all entitled to them, but I never asked,’_ at this, Karkat began to laugh, and the girl behind him began to laugh as well and Crabdad looked confused. Karkat laughed some more and stood up, the chair grated loudly on the ground, calling attention to himself and his dad. “Karkat? Where are you going? We’re not done yet!”

Karkat grinned, then stuck up his middle finger at his dad, “Fuck off dad, I’m glad that I’m not the only one in this café who can see how much of an asshole you are.” He walked out of the café, the girl following him after telling the waiter that she didn’t want her drink anymore. Leaving behind them the last bits of the song, ‘ _Who cares if you disagree? You are not me, who made you king of anything? So you dare tell me who to be, who died and made you king of anything?’_

“Ha ha ha! Holy shit,” Karkat laughed as he walked away from the shop, “I assume you just butt into something whenever you feel like don’t you?” The girl looked at him and laughed, she had stunning blue eyes, a clear teal, like the sea, but they were whitish and slightly webbed, _cataracts,_ his brain whispered from its vast medical knowledge. “I guess I do, don’t i?” Her voice was soft, but had an off twang to it, like she’d spent her entire life shouting. “Why did you do it?” Her smile immediately dropped and she nervously fingered her collar, must be a bad habit, and she bit her bottom lip, also must be a bad habit, “That’s because, that’s because, I thought you needed help. You reminded me of myself, always having my identity torn from me and decided for me. I thought you…”

“Hey, I needed it. You don’t need to fucking over think everything.”

She broke into a smile and the sun seemed to shine a little brighter. “My name’s Terezi. Terezi Pyrope.” She said through a smile. He felt uncertain about his name, should he? Would she laugh? He held out his hand after some hesitation, “Karkat Vantas.” The expression on her face didn’t change and she said after a moment’s consideration, “Cool name Karkles.”

“Hey don’t- You know what? Never mind. I like it.”

= = >Let’s be Terezi a couple of minutes before her encounter with Karkles

Terezi opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. At first it was out of focus and blurry, and black spots danced before her eyes. She blinked hard and they faded away. There was sun peeking through the window, only blocked partially by the thin curtain. She sighed. Swinging her legs off of the side of the bed brought another wave of headaches so she sat for a while, simply clutching her head and squeezing her eyes shut against the pain. When she opened them again, everything was dark. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart beat faster. I can’t see. I can’t see. Oh god, it’s so dark, help me. No, no, no, please no- her vision cleared and she let out a shaky breath of relief. Not blind. She simply sat at the edge of the bed, staring at the far wall for a long minute. Seeing practice they said. She blinked a few times, but the darkness didn’t go away, it simply rested along her sight. Might as well do something today, she thought, stumbling towards a box and prying it open with her fingers and shuffling through the clothes inside, while squinting to try to see the difference in colour. She settled for a low collared shirt and short pants. After putting on her clothes, she looked around the tiny room, trying to focus on the small corners and little details, like small changes in the fading wallpaper, the little designs on the paper, and dust motes floating, only visible in the brightness of the morning sun. But she couldn’t see it. Everything was a blur, and the light was blinding, wincing, she turned away.

The room was small, a two-room apartment, cheap but it wasn’t half bad, big enough to walk around freely and fit most of her boxes. The bed was nicely positioned in the corner, out of the sunlight, and just the way she liked it. Terezi picked up her bag and looked at herself in the small mirror hanging on the wall. Pretty teal eyes stared back at her, framed by violent orange red hair. Then she sighed, reaching out to touch the web of whiteness in the mirror, only slightly visible in the light. Then she snarled and smashed the mirror to the ground. It shattered into a million pieces and scattered across the floor, covering it a fine sparkling of glittering dust. Her foot was bleeding, only lightly, but it was enough. Slowly, she crouched down, and stared at the blood beading from the wound, then she swiped her finger across the cut and lightly touched some of her blood to her tongue. It tasted sharp and salty, like licking iron laced with rust, but underneath, it was sweet, like cherry. Cherry candy. It tasted… good. She smeared it on her lips and felt it, moist against her lips and then it dried, becoming dark brown on her lips. In the mirror, it was black.

Terezi walked out of her flat and shivered against the cold, it was the winds of December, whispering of snow. Licking her lips, she closed the door behind her, locking it, and walked down the hallway. Another door opened on her way to the stairs and she was startled by the door suddenly being thrown open. A boy marched out, his face was a blur of anger, dark eyebrows crashed together in a shadow of fury, a flash of sterner grey eyes than the man slowly walking out behind him. The man spared her a glance and gave a slight nod, “Fine time to be dressing for summer young lady.” She didn’t say anything, just looked at him. He seemed to notice her eyes, his eyebrow raised slightly, and then he was gone, walking away after the boy. Terezi sniffed slightly and smelt soap and…nothing really. She looked at the door number-413. Ah. She remembered that this was where the nice, lonely lady lived. Mrs…Mrs…Vantas. It was a beautiful name. They never talked much, not that she saw her much anyways.

She continued walking, carefully avoiding trash bags set meticulously across the walkway to deter people from their doors. Everything was grey and boring, cold grey cement and boring coloured old doors. They were probably vibrant colours before, but age and neglect had faded them to pale grey colours and peeling paint of rotting wooden doors. The trash smelt terrible, like rot and fermented fruits and vegetables that no one wanted to eat. A fly buzzed against the black plastic bag, making a fuss. It couldn’t get _out._ It was noisy, the plastic crinkling and tapping as the fly buzzed against the plastic. Then there was silence as the fly went quiet. Then it crawled out of the top of the plastic bag and flew to freedom. Terezi followed the sound of its buzzing until it disappeared into the cold morning sky. A fly- Trying to get out of a black plastic bag. Just like every person in this god damned town. She turned away from the grey sky and walked down the hallway.

She was surprised to see the boy and his father at the coffee shop she frequented. It wasn’t surprising that they were arguing. Their family was actually the loudest on the apartment block. She heard what seemed like the last bits of their conversation. “…Shut up, I’m tired of all your shit. Ever since you started going on about all this stupid doctor shit, I’ve never been given a choice anymore, I’ve never had a fucking choice in my entire fucking life. I’m not being me anymore. Just because it’s a name, doesn’t mean you have to force to be what the name means. That’s just so fucked up and wrong.” She let the words soak in as she sat down behind him and she felt the pangs of familiarity with the situation. With her mother always guarding her every move since she learned of her cataracts. Like she was already blind. Like she couldn’t do anything on her own. Like she was a baby that just learned to walk. It disgusted her that her mother would spoon feed her, tell her to say ‘ahhh’ tuck her in at bedtime, walk her to school… She treated her like a glass doll. After that, she wasn’t Terezi anymore. She was Pyrope the disabled kid who was going blind.

That’s when the bullying started. They would take her books and steal her glasses, then they would purposely stand in front of her face and say, “Hey Pyrope, you blind yet?” “Pyrope, do you see how many fingers I’m holding up?” The teacher didn’t really help. “Pyrope, I’ve heard from your mother that you have cataracts?” her face scrunched up in fake pity, “I see. You can sit in the front where you can see the board properly. If you can’t see then you can ask your friend what it is. I can even give you help after lessons if you couldn’t really see.” Terezi’s face burned in shame and she had ducked her head in embarrassment as her classmates held back their laughter and nodded in mock sympathy. Everything was fake about the whole school. Right from every word spewed from their stupid mouths to the people with more attitude than brains. Fake smiles and crocodile tears. Every single god damned one of them. Then her mother went too far. She’d tripped over the carpeting in their house and her mother had rushed to her side with worry etched over her features. “Oh Terezi, my poor baby, are you alright? Don’t worry, I have just the thing for you.” Then she’d left Terezi on the floor and went to grab something from the back. And right in front of her horrified eye’s, her mother wheeled out a wheelchair. “Come on dear,” her mother’s grip was so strong, “Get on the wheelchair. Mommy’s going to make sure that my baby’s not going to get hurt any longer.” Then she’d _strapped her to the chair._ She called the police after a week. Her mother was arrested the very same day the police kicked down the door.

“Excuse me miss? Would you like to order anything?” She startled out of her thoughts and looked at the confused waiter who was holding a notepad. “Oh! I umm… I’ll have coffee, with extra milk and sugar please.” The waiter quickly jotted down her order and gave her a studying look, “We have a special offer today on the cherry cake this week –only $2.99 a slice- would you like to try some?” She mulled over it but waved it off, “No thank you.” The waiter moved off. She dared a glance behind her and looked at the boy, all dark hair and looks, furrowed brow and a scowling mouth, but, at this range, up close, he actually looked kind of cute. The way his stern grey eyes softened as he gazed at the sky…She extracted her phone from her pocket and scrolled through her list of songs as a thought hit her, the scene was so similarly depicted in the song she’d heard some time ago she nearly laughed out loud. Even though… even though no one had helped her before…she just wanted…to help this boy. To have your individuality just…taken from you, that-that was death. To have your whole life, planned out for you like that, there wasn’t any living to it. She tapped against the song.

 _Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table, while I look outside and count the cars that pass by,’_ she risked a glance upwards at the boy and saw him looking at her a look of be puzzlement scrunching up his face, _‘so many things I’d say if only I were able, but I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by,’_ at this point, the boy chuckled slightly and she looked up, surprised and hopeful, so she smiled at him, _‘you’ve got opinions man, we’re all entitled to them, but I never asked,’_ the boy finally burst into laughter, it was deep and throaty, the kind of laughter of a person who hadn’t laughed in a long time, and she was so surprised she began to laugh to. He stood up and his chair scraped painfully loud against the floor and she suddenly felt like people were staring at her. They were, looking at the trio with shocked and confused faces. “Karkat?” So that was his name. “Where are you going? We’re not done yet!” From her position she could see a blur of a wicked grin grace his features and she shivered, the smile was cruel and for a minute, her hope faltered, had she done wrong in helping him? He flipped up his middle finger at his father and she could see confusion and anger flash through the boy’s father’s eyes, it was almost as if she could smell it. “Fuck off dad; I’m glad that I’m not the only one in this café who can see how much of an asshole you are.” Then he happily tucked his thumbs in the pockets of his pants and walked out of the café and Terezi followed him, giving a glance at his father, and nearly regretted her choice, his face was a sea of anger, no it was fury, dark and so full of rage that it practically emanated from his skin. It stung her nose and she recoiled, quickly following after Karkat, or whatever his name was, dismissing her drink from the confused waiter. As she quickly followed Karkat, who was walking with long strides, she looked back and quickly turned, feeling the seething anger pouring from his father, she shivered again and hugged her shoulders. Fear. It was like a black cloud of nothingness. This Vantas family scared her so. But when he laughed, all that fear disappeared, it was warm.

“Ha ha ha! Holy shit!” he laughed, his eyes scrunching up and all his teeth showing, “I assume you just butt into something whenever you feel like don’t you?” He turned to her and his eyes were so clear, but there was anger there, like a bright, cloudy morning. “I guess I do, don’t I?” she replied with a smile on her face. His voice was hoarse and grating, not fitting for a face like his, and he had the brightest smile, like he hadn’t smiled in a long time. She saw him look at her and as she felt his gaze slide over her eyes, his eyebrow twitched slightly. So he knows. She felt fearful again and she nearly collapsed as her heart started beating faster in fear. What if he treated her like everybody else did? What if he made fun of her? What if he smirked and held out his hand like he was trying to help her? But he looked away, his eyes distant, “Why did you do it?” his voice was quiet. I, she thought, her finger automatically reaching for her collar. She chewed her bottom lip and she could taste the dried blood. It was sweet and bitter. “That’s because, that’s because, I thought you needed help. You reminded me of myself, always having my identity torn from me and decided for me. I thought you…” Would he be angry? He gave her a glance and a reassuring smile was on his lips, “Hey, I needed it. You don’t need to fucking over think everything.” She felt herself break into a relieved smile as his steely grey eyes filled her with happiness and the world at the edges of her eyes seemed to become brighter than the dull colours clouding her vision. “My name is Terezi Pyrope.” He smiled, but it was uncertain, there were conflicting emotions running off his skin and his smile faltered, but his hand came out to her confidently, “Karkat Vantas.” He looked so scared and shy that she wondered briefly what made him so afraid, so she never let the smile leave her face, “Cool name Karkles.” The nickname flowed from her mouth as easily as water and she was almost as startled as he was and he spluttered. “Hey don’t-“ he started, his brows coming together like a cloud passing over the sun, but then it was gone after he hesitated, and the smile was back, “You know what? Never mind. I like it.”


	2. Kaeshite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes!!! I finally fixed the pesterlogs! A big thank you to all you fan fiction writers out there, you guys are extremely talented and I wouldn't have been able to do this one without you guys.
> 
> G.L.U.B!

The two sat down on a park bench and Karkat felt his heart beating with apprehension, his father was going to kill him when he got home. And before that, he’d take it out on his mother. Oh God no. He could almost see the hurt in her eyes and his heart wrenched in pain. What had he done? Terezi was sitting awkwardly next to him, she kept fidgeting, did she know? He’d never seen her before, and her answer hadn’t really answered his question. She hardly knew him, and him, similarly, her. There was a companionable silence between them as he stared up at the sky, now lightly tinged with the clearest blues he’d ever seen, such a clear teal blue, with wisps of white clouds that webbed across the sky. _Like Terezi’s eyes_ , the back of his mind whispered, and he turned to see her, she was staring at the sky in wonder, as if she hadn’t looked at it in a long time. She noticed him looking at her and smiled at him, and his stomach fluttered like there were butterflies flitting about in there. She _was_ quite pretty. With what seemed a great force of will, he tore his eyes away from her and looked at the sky again. “You have cataracts.” He said with no emotion in his voice, and, internally, he cursed himself, why did he have to sound like all those stupid doctors prescribing medicine? Her shoulders slumped and she started kicking the dirt at her feet in a frustrated manner, obviously showing she was agitated and upset. “I thought you knew. So…what? Are you going to ask me how many fingers you’re holding up?” her voice was bitter and angry and Karkat felt himself cringe, damn, he’d really stepped into a rather personal subject. He turned to her and let his apology seep into his reply, “Its…its not that, I just- I’m stupid. I didn’t mean it that way.” She looked surprised, but then it dropped to suspicious. So he continued, “I know what cataracts are. And what they do to the eyesight. It’s just a bit blurry and dark isn’t it?”

His face was so concerned, the way his eyebrow’s cutely knit together in worry and distress. Just like her mother. She felt unsure, but something about him made her feel a bit relaxed, like he knew what he was talking about. Then again… “Just a little bit.” She replied.

“Have you ever tried treatment?”

“Expensive.” Was all she said. And she looked at the ground.

The silence stretched out and a bird twittered somewhere in the park as people jogged past their little bench, ignoring the two of them as they went about their business, the cold morning air crisp on their skin. “I’m sorry.” He said, the apology evident in his voice, “I didn’t mean for you to feel upset by it.”

“It’s okay.” Her response was brusque but she looked at him with a small smile. Then it turned teasing, “Aww, are you blushing? That’s so cute.” He blushed then and responded with offended embarrassment, “Why would I-“ and then he went to grumbling when he saw her mischievous smile. “Ha ha, of course I’m blushing. The blood is practically running to my cheeks because they’re so cold. Fuck you.” She laughed, more like cackling rather than laughing really, that funny little twang to it, and he began to laugh as well. Their laughter echoed slightly and their breath misted the air in white clouds of cold. “I’d better go home.” He said guiltily, thinking of his mother’s pained face. Vaguely, behind him, he could hear the gardener moving around behind them, hacking at branches with a blade. Terezi stood and smiled, “Okay then, I suppose I must go as well.” He stared up at her from his sitting place, her face blotting out the sun. He stood and brushed the seat of his pants and as he straightened, all hell broke loose.

As she stood, a man ran by and snatched her bag right out of her hands. Startled, she gave a slight yelp, but she quickly caught her footing, sliding her foot back and pivoting quickly. In a matter of seconds, she was after the thief who had dodged between the two of them and had run for the safety of the bustling city. Karkat swore and ran after the both of them, passing by the surprised gardener who had dropped a sickle. He skidded to a halt, grabbed the sickle and ran off after the two of them, never losing sight of her flashing red hair in the morning sunlight. “TEREZI!” he called out, running after surprised pedestrians as they watched him dash and weave between them, if she’d noticed him, she didn’t give any indication and he burst forwards, and caught up with her. “Terezi,” he gasped, “He’s most likely going to head into an alleyway, you’d better keep close or we’ll lose him.” She glanced at him and gave him a wicked smile, “Says who?” Then she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, braced herself, and threw him.

It took him a moment to realize he was flying, and a second more to realize his destination.

Karkat crashed into the man and they both tumbled to the ground with a shout. From behind him, Terezi gave a whoop and skided to a halt in front ogf the two of them. She pulled him up and helped him to his feet. “That was fun!” she said ecstatically, her eyes glittering. “Fun my ass!” Karkat snapped, “What kind of definition of ‘fun’ is in your god damn retarded mind?!” She laughed and turned towards the fallen man, “My bag please.” The man swore and scrambled away, heading into an alley, clutching the bag to his chest. They both gave chase, Terezi grabbing a broom stick that was leaning against the wall, Karkat right behind her. Finally, the man stopped and pulled out a knife, holding it out to them, his eyes wild with fear, “Don’t come any closer!” he warned, his voice shrill with near madness, “I didn’t want to, but you guys keep chasing me!” He dropped to panicky breathing, hyperventilating as the weight of the knife seemed to give him a crazed confidence. Terezi took a step closer. The man shrieked and waved the knife around wildly, “Don’t come any closer!” Then Karkat said, “That knife is scary isn’t it?” The man froze and seemed to realize the knife in his hands. “I- I-“the man stuttered, starting to tremble. Karkat’s eyes were cold, “It could kill someone.” The man began to breathe heavily, staring at the knife in his hand, it was shaking violently and he gripped it with his other hand. “Aahhh!” The man screamed and charged towards him. He never even got close. Terezi executed a quick roundhouse kick that smashed into the man’s cheek, sending him crashing him into the wall. The knife went swinging towards her, following the momentum of the man’s fall. There was a quick flash of steel by her face and the knife was parried by a flashing sickle and it went clattering into the corner of the alley. “Holy shit,” Karkat breathed, holding the sickle in front of him, “I didn’t actually expect that to hit.” Terezi blew out a breath that frosted the air, “Phew, well that’s over. Let me grab my bag.” She walked over to the man and tugged it from his grasp, as she slung it over her shoulder, she looked at Karkat who was still staring at his sickle in wonder, “Thank you,” she said, “That was some pretty scary talking back there.”

“Huh? Oh, that. It’s just a psychology thing, most people don’t realize the weight of people’s life until you pull them out of their adrenaline rush and into reality, then the fear settles in. And I feel I should mention that was some pretty scary reflexes you had back there. By the way-“

“Oh, shut up you.” Terezi said with a smile, putting a hand to his mouth to stop his rambling. He stopped and looked sideways in slight shame, “Sorry,” he mumbled, “I always-““A-ah,” she tutted, pressing slightly more on his lips, “You’re starting again.” She glanced at the sickle in his hand , flashing in the light. “Hey Karkat,” the broomstick thumped against the cold ground and Terezi’s hands crossed over each other at the edge of the broomstick, a large smile forming with her teeth, “Do you want to do something fun?” His steely grey eyes met her teal blue ones, uncertainty and doubt clouding them. “Do you want to stay with me?” her voice was confident. “Do you like doing this?” The man groaned at her feet. Karkat looked down at the man and looked back up at her with a wicked grin forming on his lips, his heart was beating so fast, and his breath was caught in his throat. _He was so fucking excited._ “Yes! Hell fucking yes!” His grey eyes glinted and Terezi was grinning so wide she felt like er face would split. He held out his hand and his voice was clear, smiling so wide with confidence and eagerness, “Karkat Vantas. I’m with you until the end.” Terezi smiled back and slapped his hand away, much to his confusion, then grabbed his hand and shook it once, defiantly, “No. I am Terezi Pyrope, and _I_ will be the one with _you_ until the end.” Karkat felt like his face would crack. He shook her hand back, once, with earnest.

The feeling of dread returned when he trudged back home, the waves of excitement and euphoria was gone, to be replaced by the waiting emotions of fear, anger, and sadness. They were waiting. They were always waiting. Like fucking birds of prey, they were waiting, god dammit! The door looked so frightening now, and his hand trembled on the doorknob. But it was so quiet inside, no yelling, no breaking glass, no sound of slamming doors, no crying. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

The apartment was in surprisingly perfect and top condition. The faint whirr of the washing machine could be heard and all was quiet. He walked in carefully, noting that his brother’s shoes and his father’s were gone. When he peeked in the kitchen, his mother was quietly sitting by herself with a cup of tea in front of her. She sighed and massaged her temples, “Karkat?” He froze. “I know you’re there. Come here.” Karkat padded quietly and sat down in front of her, looking guilty, she looked so tired. “Karkat?”

“Yes Mom?”

“You got into another fight with your father didn’t you?”

He was quiet and he looked down. “He came home and left in a rage, taking his suitcase with him. Your brother wisely followed him, saying he would do his best to calm him. What happened this morning?” When he didn’t answer, she looked up and gave him the saddest look he’d seen, her eyes were sparkling with tears, and there were stars in her eyelashes, her eyebrows drawn together in a look between pity and sadness. “Karkat, please, please, tell me what happened.”

Karkat’s heart wrenched and he buried his face in his hands, “I ran away from him this morning. I left him at the shop after embarrassing him.”

He could see it in her eyes that she knew that it wasn’t all. That she knew he wasn’t telling her more. But she smiled with relief and said, “Okay, that’s good! Your father gets angry over the silliest of things.” She stood and walked over to the sink, washing her cup, humming slightly. Karkat watched her with his eyes, “Mom,” she turned, her hair hanging loosely in a ponytail, it followed her as it turned, a small smile on her lips, “Yes Karkat?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for?”

But he was already gone.

Karkat threw himself on his bed with a groan, then yelped in pain as he remembered what was on his back. The sickle. He pulled it out and stared at it, what had he gotten himself into? Because of a girl. Because of an invitation to escape from his boring life. It’d been so long since he’d seen a blue sky. The blade reflected the brilliant blue sky from his window and as he turned, the sky returned to its dull grey colour, he hated that colour so much. Grey. It was so ugly. But a necessity. A pinging distracted him from the weapon and his head swiveled towards his computer which was making those annoying pinging noises. Egbert? He tossed the sickle on his bed and walked over to his computer and opened it, the light green text was as obnoxious as the text on the screen.

\--gardenGnostic [GG]began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

GG: hi karkat!

GG: guess what!!

GG: i saw our science test marks and…

GG: i got more than you! eeeeeeee! >: D

GG: booo! sucks to be you vantas! > : P

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG]has begun trolling gardenGnostic [GG] \--

CG: FUCK OFF HARLEY.

GG: finally! i was beginning to wonder if you were sulking in your room

CG: DID YOU JUST COME HERE TO MESSAGE ME SHIT ABOUT THE SCIENCE TEST OR ARE YOU GOING TO ACTUALLY GIVE ME SOMETHING WORTH MY TIME?

GG: hehe! : B

GG: i actually wanted to ask you how you were doing after our epic battle.

CG: OH WOW. INCREDIBLE. THE GREAT HARLEY GIVES MERCY TO HER SWORN ENEMY IN BIOCHEMISTRY.

CG: JUST GIVE ME A MOMENT TO GET TO ME KNEES AND KISS YOUR SHOES.

CG: FUCK YOU HARLEY. I’M FINE. BETTER THAN EVER. ABSOLUTELY ECSTATIC.

CG: THERE. I’M DONE.

CG: QUIT PESTERING ME.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] has stopped trolling gardenGnostic[GG] \--

GG: karkat wait! D:

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] has blocked gardenGnostic [GG] \--

Karkat logged out of Pesterchum and leaned back on his chair. Fuck them. Fuck his life. Fuck his decisions. With a deep sigh, he closed his eyes and threw his feet up on his desk, mashing the keys on his keyboard, unknowingly writing garbled nonsense to someone.

CG:LESHGFAEULWGFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

TG: what the fuck man

But that is to be told another time.

= => Proceed to the next day.

It was early the next day at breakfast that the knock came at the door. Karkat and his mother were sitting quietly at the dining table in companionable silence, both of them having fresh hot drinks in front of them with their own respected brews; coffee with extra sugar and milk for Karkat and tea for his mother. She was absently stirring her tea while staring off into space; a blanket wrapped around her legs and the way her eyes glittered from the light in the kitchen made them sparkle like stars. Karkat occasionally glanced up from his book to look at her, think for a bit, then return to his book, and take a sip of his coffee and spluttering because he forgot it was hot. His mother would break from her reverie and laugh at him while he was still befuddled by the fact his coffee was still mysteriously hot. The knock came, softly at first, but then it came more boldly and louder. “Well, I’ll be.” His mother said after the knocking went on for a couple of seconds before she got up and went to answer the door. Karkat resisted the urge to simultaneously spew out his coffee comically and face palm so hard when he heard Terezi’s voice at the door, “Hi Mrs. Vantas!” Instead he spluttered and threw his head around the corner, “Terezi?! What the fuck?” His mother looked startled, “You know Ms. Pyrope?” Karkat felt awkward as Terezi peeked around his mother’s shoulder, looking for the entire world terribly pleased with herself. “Oh, hi Karkles!” her grin was unmistakable in the light of the morning and the brightness of her teal eyes were only slightly clouded by her cataracts. Her grin got unmistakably wider when she noticed his confusion and slight exasperation, “We’ve got a date today, right? You promised me yesterday.”

“Umm. May I ask what’s going on?” his mother asked, looking very, very confused. But Karkat was already pulling on a sweater and walking into his room, grabbing his sickle and pulling on some socks. When he walked out, he scratched the back of his head and sheepishly said, “Sorry mom, Terezi’s pretty right about the whole date thing,” his sicke was hard and cold against his back, “I have to go.” She seemed to make a connection with something, and her eyes became sad, “Please don’t do anything dangerous.” Terezi felt something uncomfortable stirring in her gut and she bit her lip, drawing blood. She could see the conflicting emotions running through his face, but it settled to a reassuring smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, “I won’t.” Karkat kissed her forehead and held her in a brief hug before walking out the door. He took Terezi’s hand, and she gave his hand an uncertain squeeze, giving Mrs. Vantas one last look. There was sadness in her eyes, as if she knew what was going on. That it wasn’t what it really seemed.

She watched her son walk down the hallway, saying something to the girl, she couldn’t quite hear it, but she saw his lips move and shape a word. That sickle she saw on his bed the other day… He was holding it in his hands. She closed the door and as she walked into the kitchen, she looked at Karkat’s coffee on the table next to his open book, there was the word ‘BULLSHIT’ written next to a line of paragraphs, and there was a corrected version of the text next to it in neat caps lock lettering. The scientist’s picture at the bottom had his eyes crossed out in a crude fashion with marker.

The coffee cup was empty.

== > Lets continue with Karkat’s part

“Your lip is bleeding.” Karkat said as he looked at Terezi, and he held out a handkerchief he dug out from his jeans pocket, but she pushed it away, smiling slightly, “It’s okay Karkles, it’s just a little blood.” She dabbed at it slightly with her tongue before completely licking away the small bead of red. Karkat nodded slightly, “I guess it is just blood, but blood nonetheless. Take the god damned handkerchief and put it on your lip for Pete’s sake and give me some sort of comfort in knowing that I’ve helped you in the slightest.” He thrust the handkerchief into her hand and placed it on her lips. “Thank you.” she mumbled, holding the cloth to her lip, and she continued as they kept walking down the now empty halls with their bleached doors, “She knows, I think. That this isn’t what it seems.” His eyes turned steely and troubled, “I know. I could see it in her eyes. But,” he went on, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, “This is still partially a date.” He grinned wolfishly and ruffled her hair. “You wanted to talk right? Let’s go to someplace we can talk.” Ten minutes later they were sitting down at a café and Terezi was stirring her coffee while Karkat attacked his slice of cake- it was on sale after all- but it wasn’t particularly tasty, the cherries weren’t quite perfect and the batter tasted off, like someone had thrown in salt and all things bitter and rotten. He left the rest of the cake with a frown, it was disgusting. He ordered a drink and turned towards Terezi who was looking at him, “Karkat,” he voice was clear, but not loud, “Do you remember what happened yesterday?”

_“Do you want to do something fun?” His steely grey eyes met her teal blue ones, uncertainty and doubt clouding them. “Do you want to stay with me?” her voice was confident. “Do you like doing this?” The man groaned at her feet._

The sickle felt heavy on his back as he felt his mouth say, “Yes.”

“Then we come to the topic of the conversation Karkles. We both have our reasons, and we both want to save people. _I_ want to save people. I’m sure you do as well.” The drink came, briefly interrupting their conversation, but then the waiter drifted off and they resumed. “That was the first time I’d felt so, _alive._ It made my blood sing, and my heart was beating so fast from excitement-“ she looked at him seriously, “-and I’m sure you could feel it too, to do something that we can’t, to draw blood, to hurt, to do justice to those who deserve it. I want to be more than friends. I want to be allies, comrades!” but she was smiling as she said this as if she were choosing her words carefully under some sort of secret joke.

“Because we feel akin to one another, as though we were siblings.” Karkat frowned as the thought dawned upon him, but it excited him, he was escaping from reality. He was escaping from _his_ plain, boring reality, he looked at the sky and the bright blue hit him and he squinted against the sun, lately, it was as if he was seeing colour nowadays, the sky wasn’t grey anymore, it was teal blue, like the colour of the ocean. Things were certainly getting interesting with this girl. He smiled and took a sip of the drink, “Allies? I’d see as more of gangsters after what we did to that guy.” Her face made him laugh and get some of the drink in his nose, and then she was laughing because he was choking and sniffing then her drink tipped over onto her lap and she was yelping because it was still hot and he was laughing at her plight, until she retaliated and splashed his cold drink on his face, he spluttered while she laughed and soon they were both laughing and causing an uproar in their place at the café.

Terezi patted at the coffee stain on her lap, the water was still drying from where she’d washed it off-temporarily- and Karkat was still wiping his face from the cold drink which had soaked into his jacket. The jacket was folded messily beside him, but the smile was still on his face, he chuckled a bit when she came out and she stuck her tongue out at him. “Asshole.” She snickered as she sat down across him and he snorted, “Says the asshole who threw cold juice on my face.”

“Says the asshole who got juice up his nose.”

“Says the asshole who spill her own hot drink on herself while laughing at _me._ who could laugh at this face?” He made a show of smoothing his slightly sticky hair back and adopting a haughty look. She snorted and threw a napkin at his face, “Shut up Mr. Good Looks, I think you’ve got juice dribbling out of your nose again.” He blew his nose and said with a grin, “You shut up.”

“No you shut up.” She countered.

“You shut up.”

“ _You_ shut up.”

He surprised her by laughing and wiping his eyes, “Oh my god, this is the most pointless fight I’ve ever had in my life. Haah, this is awesome. You know, I think we’re great friends, you and I. The most sucky and best friends.” Terezi laughed and punched him lightly on the shoulder as she stood, leaving money on the table to pay for her drink, “Yeah, we are kind of sucky,” he stood and dug around his wallet for his spare change, “But I think I like it that way.” She added quietly. “Alright,” Karkat said as they walked out of the shop, he was staring at the sky, “Where to now?” She followed his gaze, and she could see the grey expanse of sky, clouds rolling with the slight breeze, and she breathed out, her breath misting the cold air. Now that their laughter had subsided, she felt a bit empty, but content. “I don’t know Karkles. Do you still want to kill time outside?” He was silent for a bit, breathing out a puff of white, before nodding, “Yeah. Maybe.”

Suddenly Terezi turned and sniffed, her nose twitching slightly, “Ooh! Let’s go there!” and she broke into a smile, grabbing Karkat’s arm and pointing enthusiastically towards a large shopping mall, already decorated for the coming winter and there were a few people walking in and out of the double glass sliding doors. Karkat grimaced, “Umm…Terezi, I don’t think…” but she was already dragging him towards the mall, looking excited. He really didn’t want to go in there, it was a Sunday afternoon and the mall was definitely not the place he wanted be. John could be there, NOT the person he wanted to see. Especially not now. His face wouldn’t survive Karkat’s onslaught of fury. John was especially annoying at this time of the year, always grabbing the nearest shoulder and letting his dreadful vocals go through the roof singing his stupid carols about stupid holidays. Jade…nope. She was definitely a no-no, not after he blocked her the other day, if she saw him she would bitch about it to him while holding up against the wall by his neck. Dave, he’d probably give him that infuriating smirk or try to seduce the nearest woman which was Terezi and prolly get his ass kicked. By either of them. But the cold air blowing on his face was a sure thing that these events were going to happen and he felt the carpet under his shoes as Terezi dragged him in. “Terezi! Terezi! This isn’t a good idea!” He tried to say but they were already inside. Finally, she turned and faced him, in the middle of the fucking entrance, “What, exactly is wrong with you Karkles?”

“This, is not a place I want to be!” he hissed, pushing her to the side. She looked confused, but a little angry, why the fuck was she angry, and her teal eyes glinted dangerously, he was going to get his ass kicked if he didn’t explain quick. “Look, Terezi, I- oh shit!” He gave her a fierce hug and Terezi gave a gasp, of shock or what, but it was anything that he could do to dodge Jade, who was happily chatting to Dave, “-and then he just blocked me! That asshole, when I get my hands on him…uurgh! I will strangle him so hard! God damn him!” Then it was Dave’s voice, “Yeah, I mean, something was up with him, he sent some garbled text like he just button smashed his keyboard and sent it to me to fuck with me.” They passed by without paying them much attention. Terezi could feel Karkat’s beating heart against her chest and he was hugging her so tightly, like he was trying to hide from something. So she let herself be hugged until he let go. “I’m sorry.” Was all he said as he backed away, looking regretful. She pursed her lips and then slapped him. Hard. He didn’t say anything, just let himself be slapped. Terezi grabbed his arm and continued dragging him into the store, turning around to face him with a mischievous smile, “Now you have to buy me something.” He returned the smile, though half-heartedly, “Sure.” She dragged him to…the glasses section? She stopped there and took a pair of glasses off the rack and put it on her face, “How do I look?” The clunky glasses looked terrible on her and he stifled a laugh, “Holy hell, no. They look disgusting on you.” She snorted and shoved a random pair on his nose, then started laughing. “What the hell?!” he said, putting his hands in front of himself and groping around, “How the fuck does anyone see anything in these?!”

“To-total douchebag…” Terezi wheezed out through her suppressed laughter, she curled up into a shaking ball of laughter. Karkat removed the shades and put them back on the rack, then picking a pair that matched Terezi’s, fixing it on his nose, but it slid halfway down the bridge of his nose and rested there. When she looked up from her position, she had to clap a hand over her mouth to stop herself from screaming with laughter, “You look like a prick.” She said through her fingers before shaking with laughter again, the glasses slipping off her nose, which he caught and put on the rack. “Well, young ma’am,” he said, with an exaggerated British accent, “You, look like a pretentious asshole.” She cackled and batted eyelashes, holding out her hand as if she was asking him to kiss it, “Oh please, you flatterer. Go on, praise my beautiful face some more, jerk.” She turned to the rack again and gave an excited “oohh!” before grabing another pair of glasses on the rack, it was more of 4D glasses than glasses at all, and she put them over her eyes, “Whoa…” she dragged out, staring intently at a TV screen at the other side of the shop, “I think that squirrels running towards me…I think I’m going to get a headache.” She took off the glasses and put them down, turning to see Karkat slip on a pair of pink glasses, pointed at the edges, more like goggles than anything. He pushed back his bangs and imitated shaking water out of his hair, “Feels, tropical,” he said looking around, “You know, I think the glasses are getting to my brain, I’m starting to see sand underneath my bare toes, what the fuck, I’m still wearing shoes and I’m looking at the god damned ceiling, how am I seeing my feet? Ohh, wait, I can see the orange sunset over the rippling waves.”

“Oh stop it,” Terezi laughed, swiping off the glass-goggles and stuffing them back on the rack, “You’re babbling again.” She traded the glasses with large, wire-rimmed round one’s, and placed them on his nose, wearing a pair of thick rectangular glasses on her own nose. She stuck a pose, “Do I look cool or what?”

“I think I look like a stuck up college student.” Karkat observed, looking into the small mirror that was provided. “You are a stuck up college student.” Terezi said, looking into her own mirror, “I look like a cool girl.”

“As if.” Karkat retorted, snatching another pair of glasses off the shelf that looked slightly similar, just a bit thinner, and fixed them on his own face, “What do you think?” Terezi pretended to think on it, biting her bottom lip, “Hmmmm….” She dragged out, “You actually look kind of cute. In a derpy way.” He raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything back. Then a particular one caught his eye and he picked it up, he looked at it a little closer before smiling to himself and calling her. “Terezi, you might like these.” She turned and he put in on her face. The rose coloured glasses looked stunning on her, they were pointed at the ends, shaped like tear drops, and they fit her maniacal grin. “This is neat!” She exclaimed, holding the glasses to her face and looking around, smiling brightly, and her teal eyes were practically sparkling from beneath them. Karkat allowed himself a small smile at her excitement. “They look great on you.”

“They do? Great.” She said absent mindedly, still taking in the scenery with the glasses. “I’ll buy them for you,” he said, gesturing to the glasses, and he saw her eyes widen behind the glasses in shock, “Really?”

“Yeah, I do owe you. And it would be a great gift as the beginning of friends.” He grinned and tapped his cheek to remind her. Terezi looked blank for a minute and then gasped as she remembered, “Yes, you do owe me, and I do like these glasses. Yes I do. Yes. Buy them.” He laughed and bought them for her, handing her the glasses when he was done paying for them. “Good!” she said, grabbing his arm again and dragging him somewhere else, “Let’s go there!” She dragged him to the bustling of the crowds frequenting the halls of the mall. Five minutes later she was eating an ice cream cone with red swirls on it. “So,” she said between licks, “What do you suppose we could be called?” Karkat snapped out of his daze from staring at the blinking lights on the ceiling, how on earth did people get them there? “Christmas lights,” he blurted out, pointing at them. Terezi frowned, “What? Christmas lights?”

“Yeah. I was looking at the Christmas lights.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Karkat Vantas, I just asked you a serious question and you start talking about Christmas lights.”

“Oh, sorry.” Karkat was silent for a minute before asking, “What do you say about…Totally rebellious teenagers?”

“Oh, eww. That sounds disgusting. Too long. How about,” she’d gone back to licking her ice cream, “Team Justice?” Karkat thought on it, “Nah. We’re not very good at this are we?” Terezi tskked her tongue and pointed the ice cream at him, “Never say never Wendy, and don’t be so negative, it’s Christmas.”

Karkat made a disgusted face, “hell no. Oh, hell no, You did not just pull a Peter Pan reference on me,” she cackled and grinned at him from behind her ice cream, blue berry mix, and he was caught by the beauty of her teal blue eyes, hiding mirthfully behind red eye lashes. There was a dress up shop nearby and Terezi took one look at it before she was dragging him inside, “C’mon, let’s go in here!” The shop was dark, but lighted enough for the requirements. White cotton seemed to be covering every surface of the shelves, the Santa figurines were neatly nestled in the fluff, looking for all the world like demon Santa’s peering from the snow. Terezi grabbed a Santa hat from a rack and plopped it over his eyes. Karkat grunted and pushed the hat out of his eyes, seeing her sporting a similar hat, looking extremely pleased with herself. “What do you think? Demon Santa’s. The name for us.”

“Demon Santa’s?” he echoed with a grin, “Why not, Murderous Gift Givers instead? Way to be obvious Terezi.” She chuckled and grabbed rabbit ears, poising them over her head, “Easter Bunnies.”

“Nope.”

Karkat exchanged his hat for a red beanie, “Gangster.”

“Mmmmm….nah.”

Terezi plopped cat ears on her head, “Alley cats.”

“The fuck? No.”

Karkat put the beanie down on the rack and wrapped a scarf around his face, holding two fingers infront of his face, “Ninja!”

Terezi laughed and smacked him on the head, “No you dork, that sounds stupid.”

“And here I thought it was the other way round,” he sighed dramatically, putting the scarf back on the rack. When he turned around, Terezi was sporting orange and white horns on her head. She posed, hands on hips. “You look like a tr-“ the idea hit him like a speeding rollercoaster going down the slant at a 20 degree angle. “Trolls!” He said, suddenly grasping her shoulders, he was aware that there was huge grin on his face. “Trolls,” he repeated, “The name of our gang!” Terezi mulled it over, turning the word over in her head. The name gave her a feeling of being one with the darkness, hiding in the shadows, and dark grey eyes. It sparked an idea in her mind and she said, “A little old fashioned, Karkles,” she placed the horns on him, shook her head and placed smaller ones on his head, “How about, Troll-z? It actually sounds kind of cool.”

“Your right,” Karkat observed himself in the mirror, “But why the fuck did you give me nubby ones?”

Terezi snorted with laughter, and then stopped, “Hey, I’ve got an idea, Karkles, what’s your writing quirk?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my tumblr for updates and for stories I'm working on  
> clicksandspaces.tumblr.com


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